Father’s Day Wish

This Father’s Day I’m choosing to remember, learn, and even benefit from the relationship between my dad and I…the good, the bad, and even the ugly.

I have wonderful memories and lessons learned from Harold Henry Becker, now sainted for eight years. Dad was the most honest man I’ve ever met, faithful and supportive of my mother for over 59 years, a hard worker, intensely loyal to friends, generous with his time and money, possessed a simple and deep faith in God, and he was present at almost all of my school sporting and musical events. I instinctively knew this was important to him, even though he wasn’t the kind of man to ever say it out loud.

He could also be harsh. He had a sharp and quick tongue that was demeaning, and he had a volatile temper which often led to emotional outbursts where he was verbally abusive, and on occasion physically so.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying this to get back at him. In truth, he was a complicated man with tremendous light…and dark sides. Also, like me and many of you, he had blind spots and “didn’t know what he didn’t know”.

About 20 years ago we made our amends which led to tremendous healing, and a loving and joyful relationship the last dozen years of his life.

In my faith tradition I learned that the devil “…intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…” (Genesis 50:20 – This is the story of how Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Decades later Joseph was in a position of tremendous power to do good.) So even though some of my memories are difficult, there is much good that can be learned, which in turn leads to a healthier life. I thank God and my dad, even for the difficult things.

I have two Father’s Day wishes. First, be the kind of man you want your son to grow up to be. Second, reach out to a dad who may be isolated and isn’t in a good place. Encourage him to set the course he knows he needs to take.

And for those moms who are raising kids without the dad…God bless you for your courageous and needed efforts. Let’s all be moms and dads that shape hearts and minds, and eventually families and society, that leads to a life of meaning and purpose.

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This blog shares perspectives on how you have the ability to create new story endings that are meaningful, powerful and filled with hope. I facilitate culture changing processes that help organizations achieve greater impact. Also, I provide leadership coaching to help executives and aspiring leaders become the fullest expression of who they’re intended to be.

If you’re looking for coaching or consulting services, contact me – brian@leadersedge.me

@tenderlionsbook #leadership #vision #culture www.leadersedge.me

1 Comment

  • comment-avatar
    Kim Paulson March 28, 2024 (2:56 pm)

    Dear Brian & Jeff,
    I just heard your interview on Focus on the Family, & what you both shared was very encouraging! Thank you for the time, effort, & transparency in your story. I plan to listen to the re-broadcast later today to absorb more of what you shared. One thing you might want to change in your presentation: Lions don’t usually hunt. It’s the lioness who usually does all the hunting. I’m not sure why God designed them that way, but I think cubs stay behind with Dad for protection. Double-check me on this. Lions definitely fight each other for dominance, but what I’ve learned is that they don’t usually hunt.
    I also got curious when I realized that we have the same last name. Actually, my grandpa’s name was Bryan Becker. I don’t know much about my Dad’s side of the family, but I know some were from Milan, Michigan. Dad’s older brother, Lawrence, had a horrible fight with my grandparents after a short stint in the military, & then he cut off all ties with the family — & disappeared. Forty years later Dad tracked him down — when he was over 60. But he soon moved from Flint, Michigan to Kentucky — & cut off all contact again. Dad’s only other sibling, Uncle David (& his daughter) died of ALS. Grandpa Bryan was in France during WW1, a runner in the Marines, owned a gas station & bar in Rochester, MI. Great-Grandpa George was a barber in that same building. We’ve camped in Becker County, Minnesota, & I learned a bit of the history of the Civil War officer with my last name who settled there after the war ended — with his surviving troops. I also read a story of a Becker family who were missionaries traveling on the Titanic, & survived. I think they were from Detroit.
    I’ve been a D.J. at our local Christian radio station (K-Light) off & on over the decades — so I’ve also joked that Christian singer Margaret Becker is probably my long-lost cousin.
    Anyway, it’s great to hear godly men with my family name sharing their stories to help others, so I’m hoping that I can claim you as long-lost distant relatives relatives!!!
    God bless you two, & your ministries!
    Kim (Becker) Paulson